While I agree with Iyanla’s teaching and philosophies, I take a slightly different view. In one of her talks, Iyanla said, “Love is God’s presence in the room.” That resonated with me. If God is love and love is God’s presence in the room, then that sense of connection: to one another, to all of creation, and, ultimately, to God, is the greatest possible good. Conversely, the antithesis of this would not be hate, as is commonly thought, but detachment. I believe millions of depressives would agree with me. The darkest places of depression are not hate, per se, but a feeling of being disconnected from everyone. It’s a feeling of being not good enough, not accepted, and either pushed away by others or pushing yourself away because any feelings of acceptance cannot permeate the armor that the disease builds around the psyche.

If there is a God (and I believe there is, though you may disagree) and that divine being shows its presence through love and a sense of connectivity with all of creation, then evil (if you believe in evil) would be the insidious little voice that tells each of us, “You’re not good enough. Nobody likes you. You don’t look right. Your body is wrong, your age is wrong, you’re not talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough. If anybody else knew what you were thinking most of the time, you’d be locked up as crazy, dangerous, sick, deranged, perverse. You are not good enough. Nobody can ever love you.”

Maybe the Christians are right, and Satan has inherited the world, but not in the way we thought. Look around at the magazines on any magazine rack. The women’s magazines all say you’re not pretty enough or stylish enough. The men’s magazines say you’re not buff enough, stylish enough, and don’t have enough women following you around. The home, car, motorcycle, boating and even tech magazines say you’re not rich enough, flashy enough, or decadent enough, but if you decide to go out and blow all of that money so that you can get the plastic surgery, the big house, the flashy car, and throw lavish parties where you can “entertain in style,” the financial magazines will be sure to step in and tell you that you’re not financially prudent enough. So, you turn on the TV to just relax, and find yourself bombarded with advertisement after advertisement pushing the same message. “Buy OUR product, because, without it, you’re just not good enough.”

If there is a Devil, that’s the Devil’s voice, whispering in our ears, over and over, and he won’t shut up. But there are ways to make him shut up. If his power is to make us feel disconnected from others, the power within is to reconnect. Turn off the TV and put down the magazine. Pet the cat or the dog, taking a minute to really feel the love of that animal. Go outside, even if you live in a city, and feel the world living and moving around you. Contact a friend and tell them how much you love them. If that’s too intense, just think of one nice thing that you can say that might make them smile. If you live with others, cook a special dinner for everyone or play a game together (my household is currently obsessed with the board game “Kill Doctor Lucky,” but card games like “Fluxx” and “Let’s Kill” are long-time favorites, as are some of the classics like “Monopoly,” “Life,” and “Chess”). Live, love, laugh. Connect, and send the Devil packing.

In the end, it doesn’t matter so much what we do to connect to others, so much as we find a way to connect at all. Everybody has a reason to feel not good enough, no matter how well they hide it. However, everybody also has plenty of reasons to remember they’re just fine the way they are, you and me included.

While I agree with Iyanla’s teaching and philosophies, I take a slightly different view. In one of her talks, Iyanla said, “Love is God’s presence in the room.” That resonated with me. If God is love and love is God?s presence in the room, then that sense of connection: to one another, to all of creation, and, ultimately, to God, is the greatest possible good. Conversely, the antithesis of this would not be hate, as is commonly thought, but detachment. I believe millions of depressives would agree with me. The darkest places of depression are not hate, per se, but a feeling of being disconnected from everyone. It?s a feeling of being not good enough, not accepted, and either pushed away by others or pushing yourself away because any feelings of acceptance cannot permeate the armor that the disease builds around the psyche.

If there is a God (and I believe there is, though you may disagree) and that divine being shows its presence through love and a sense of connectivity with all of creation, then evil (if you believe in evil) would be the insidious little voice that tells each of us, “You’re not good enough. Nobody likes you. You don’t look right. Your body is wrong, your age is wrong, you?re not talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough. If anybody else knew what you were thinking most of the time, you’d be locked up as crazy, dangerous, sick, deranged, perverse. You are not good enough. Nobody can ever love you.”

Maybe the Christians are right, and Satan has inherited the world, but not in the way we thought. Look around at the magazines on any magazine rack. The women’s magazines all say you’re not pretty enough or stylish enough. The men’s magazines say you’re not buff enough, stylish enough, and don’t have enough women following you around. The home, car, motorcycle, boating and even tech magazines say you’re not rich enough, flashy enough, or decadent enough, but if you decide to go out and blow all of that money so that you can get the plastic surgery, the big house, the flashy car, and throw lavish parties where you can “entertain in style,” the financial magazines will be sure to step in and tell you that you’re not financially prudent enough. So, you turn on the TV to just relax, and find yourself bombarded with advertisement after advertisement pushing the same message. “Buy OUR product, because, without it, you’re just not good enough.”

If there is a Devil, that’s the Devil’s voice, whispering in our ears, over and over, and he won’t shut up. But there are ways to make him shut up. If his power is to make us feel disconnected from others, the power within is to reconnect. Turn off the TV and put down the magazine. Pet the cat or the dog, taking a minute to really feel the love of that animal. Go outside, even if you live in a city, and feel the world living and moving around you. Contact a friend and tell them how much you love them. If that?s too intense, just think of one nice thing that you can say that might make them smile. If you live with others, cook a special dinner for everyone or play a game together (my household is currently obsessed with the board game “Kill Doctor Lucky,” but card games like “Fluxx” and “Let’s Kill” are long-time favorites, as are some of the classics like “Monopoly,” “Life,” and “Chess”). Live, love, laugh. Connect, and send the Devil packing.

In the end, it doesn’t matter so much what we do to connect to others, so much as we find a way to connect at all. Everybody has a reason to feel not good enough, no matter how well they hide it. However, everybody also has plenty of reasons to remember they’re just fine the way they are, you and me included.