Taking the Dalai Lama Seriously

By Melvin McLeod
Editor in Chief of the Shambhala Sun
(Reprinted for not-for profit educational purposes only. Copyright maintained by the  author.)

It’s time we took the Dalai Lama seriously. I know that sounds like a strange thing to say, when the Dalai Lama is one of the best-known and most beloved figures in the world. But it’s time we moved beyond the Dalai Lama as the jovial uncle, the kindly pastor to the world, the feel-good moment in the media. We have to listen to what he is really saying to us. His message to the world, and the Tibetan cause he leads, are important to our future.

I’d venture to say that Pico Iyer is as close to the Dalai Lama as anyone outside his immediate circle, and in his beautiful personal essay in this issue, he reveals his innermost thoughts about His Holiness after thirty-five years as a friend, observer, and student. He lets us watch with him as the Dalai Lama extends compassion and consideration to all those around him, without regard for their age, nationality, or station. He reveals the secret to the Dalai Lama’s magic: kindness, the most valued of all human qualities.

Yet even Iyer acknowledges that he can be mesmerized by His Holiness’ extraordinary personal qualities, and fail to listen closely to what he is telling us. There are many kind people in the world; all of us have kindness in us. It is not his kindness per se that makes the Dalai Lama important. It is his message that kindness and compassion are the basis—the only possible basis—for personal and global transformation. And when the Dalai Lama says it, we believe him, because he so obviously practices and embodies these qualities.

This is the message humanity longs for and needs to hear. Our problems, both personal and global, seem so complicated, and at an intellectual level, they are. But the real root of our problems lies at a different level, simpler but more intractable—in our anger, self-interest, fear, greed—and only at that deeper level can real transformation occur. We can think up clever policies and make grand pronouncements, but if in our hearts we’re really not moved by the suffering of others, then nothing will really change.

Simply put, real change happens in the heart, and there the future of our world will be decided. So the Dalai Lama recommends a universal “religion of human kindness,” as he calls it, beyond all sectarian divisions. He recommends the kind of personal practices developed in Buddhism and other religions to move our hearts toward others (the kinds of meditation techniques now being studied in secular contexts, as Barry Boyce reports in this issue). And he tells us that we must extend our caring from those we know, to those we don’t know, to all the suffering people in the world, and finally to all sentient beings.

The Dalai Lama is a very practical man. After all, he is the leader of a oppressed people, who have suffered one of the great tragedies of the post-war period and whose fate he guides. He believes his approach of compassion and nonviolence is not only morally correct but also the most effective strategy, for the Tibetan people and for the world. And wouldn’t it be one of the best things we could do for humanity’s future to prove him right? If a small, embattled people could ultimately triumph through love and nonviolence, with their identity and culture intact, in the face of an authoritarian, imperial power? That would be a hopeful sign for the twenty-first century. We place Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. in history’s pantheon not just because of their personal and spiritual qualities. We place them there because they triumphed. They won the freedom of their people through the best possible means.

That’s why when the Dalai Lama talks, we should listen. We should listen when he tells his people to stick to their Buddhist principles of compassion and nonviolence, even in the face of terrible provocation. This is not just their struggle, but all of ours. The world needs the Dalai Lama’s message of kindness, compassion, and nonviolence, and the best message of all would be that it works.

From the March 2010 issue of the Shambhala Sun.

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Plus Two Leads Worldwide, and a Nickel’s Worth of Free Advice.

We are pleased to have not one but two circles celebrating the Spring Equinox (called “Ostarra” by many Pagans). They are both indoors, and in the Rochester area that’s important this time of year! They are also both on this coming Saturday, March 20^th in the City of Rochester at Psychic’s Thyme 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm, and the second one, in Williamson, starts at 7:00, so, technically, if you really want to be a road warrior, MapQuest does say it’s precisely a 35 minute drive… not recommended, though.

Psychic’s Thyme Ostarra Celebration
Saturday, March 20, 2010: 5:30 pm – 6:30 pm
Psychic’s Thyme
439 Monroe Avenue
Rochester, NY 14607

The first one, which is within to the city of Rochester, is held at Psychic’s thyme (“Char’s Place!”) at 439 Monroe Avenue. While your friendly neighborhood clergy can not claim that either Rev. Adrian or I have worked with the high priest that’s scheduled to lead this ritual (Doug Gill), Char and her shop have stood as one of the pillars of the local Pagan community for a long time. Char herself is an out-loud-and-proud Pagan and active supporter of Second Chance Pet Rescue (Warning: her shop contains several kitties, all of which will want to be your friend!). When a shop is this public and active in the community, several folks need to come together for it to work. Even though it would be silly for us to clam to know every single person who has lead a ritual through Psychic’s Thyme, Char has always come across as very sober, reasonable, and knowledgeable in any of our dealings with her.

Details about the Psychic’s thyme Ostarra Celebration can be found by clicking here.

For more about Psychics Thyme, please click here.

Spark of Divinity Ostarra Celebration
Saturday, March 20, 2010: 7:00 pm
Meddy’s Musings
4122 Main St
Williamson, NY 14589

The second circle is at a lovely, cozy small-town church that had us at “hello,” and in spite of the half-hour drive from Rochester, both the Rev. Adrian and I have found that the Spark of Divinity Congregation in Williamson, NY is where we go when we need to just sit quietly in the audience and re-charge our own batteries. They hold a weekly Sunday service, open to all regardless of belief or practice, with healing and spiritual messaging as regular weekly elements (features?) in the service. While some seasoned Pagans will find mediumship yesterday’s news (many Witches claim it’s vital as part of the “advanced course” in Witchcraft), the less experienced Pagans may be in for a surprise or two, as both Jeff and Meddy, along with many members of their congregation, have this skill and are willing to share their “Gifts of Spirit,” and share their teaching and guidance with the willing. The shop, “Meddy’s Musings,” and the conjoined “Ushered Path Wellness Center,” will be celebrating their third anniversary earlier in the day from 11 am to 5 pm.

Even though the Sunday service is open, accepting, and very interfaith, I have no worries: these folks are very knowledgeable about all things Pagan/ Witchy/ Native/ magickal/ etc, and I have no doubt their Ostarra will rock the house just as hard as if all they ever practiced was Pagan.

For more about Meddy’s musings and the Spark of Divinity Congregation, please click here. Their calendar (which is full of great events!) can be found here.

Worldwide:

If you are not in the local area, there are several ways to find groups close to you. Witchvox has an exhaustive list, separated into what the group’s focus is, what type of group it is, and more, hopefully giving a better idea of what a new participant is likely to experience. The Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS) is a nation-wide umbrella group, dedicated to recognizing “Pagan paths as a valid expression of spirituality and a legitimate path to religious truth for individuals,” with all the clout of the (much larger) Unitarian Universalist Association to back it up.

Afterward:

When deciding if a new group is right for you, I would advise anybody to contact the group’s liason ahead of time, speak with them, and consider a first meeting or an “open” or “public” circle (such as one of those described above) while  maintaining an open mind.  This is a great way to get a better idea for the sort of group we’re talking about.  A look at the categories available on Witchvox reveals a dizzying array of choices, and each of them is perfectly valid for somebody. After all, somebody put the required time and energy into writing up that page, creating that entry, and flying it up the flagpole on a witchy website, risking flame-wars from a community that doesn’t suffer fools well.

With that understanding,  please do not feel intimidated into being silent and not asking questions! As long as those questions are presented in an open and respectful manner (preferably BEFORE or AFTER the circle, so as to cause minimal disruption), the high priestess or priest (HP) should have no difficulty answering “why we did it this way.”

Beliefs can be dearly held, precious things that we’re wiling to protect and defend with our lives, so please remember a little compassion can go a long way. Even if the best answer they can give is , “because the big, blue book said so,” that’s not necessarily wrong, but this is an indicator of the nature of the HP who will be leading these rituals, their level of experience within the Craft, and their thought process. Do you enjoy working this way, or would you prefer something else?

Many Pagans in my experience come to eventually work very deep, personal magic with their coven-mates, and this creates strong ties. These strong ties create lasting friendships, and we regularly hear our friends in various Pagan circles to refer to each other as “families,” using familial titles (such as “brother” or ”sister”) within the group. Can you see these folks becoming a sort of family over time? Do you “click” together, or do they annoy you?

Do not feel the need to “force it.” If you do not feel comfortable, welcome, or safe, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and plenty of non-toxic groups!  Feel free to write to us if you have concerns or questions or concerns:

adrian@churchofancientpaths.com
tracie@churchofancientpaths.com

(Of course, spring has so much magic all on its own that our solitary practitioner friends will have plenty of energy to work with all by themselves… and they’ll swear this suits them just fine!)

Regardless of how or where you celebrate, Blessed Ostarra!

Gained and Lost

I have been going through some of the older things in my filing system. One needs to do that every now and then. I have realized my intellectual life has been very confined for a while now. I used to do research on things that interested me – both on-line and hard copy. I took notes, printed things out, tried reproducing the results from experiments others had done, did my own experimentation and took notes on the results – even drafting suck – er- friends to help. And then I just…stopped.

I have a thousand and one excuses – time, money, other things to do – but I have a hard time admitting and recognizing the real reason. Somehow it seems a betrayal of Shawn to say she’s a major part of what happened. She was ill. She needed a lot of care. She needed a lot of my time – time just sitting with her, watching TV with her because her eyes were getting too bad to read, cooking for her, cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, time just being with her while she slept so she could sleep (around the corner at the computer was too far away, reading a book wasn’t ‘being with her’, reading to her wasn’t what she wanted either). She wanted me to be her shadow. Even cooking was difficult. She would keep calling me in to ask what I was doing, if things were ready, could I bring her (something). If I needed to go shopping, she wanted to know why, what I would be getting, where I would be going, when I would be back – preferably to within 5 minutes – and while I was gone she would call me every 15 minutes or so to ask what I was doing, where I was, how long before I’d be home. It wasn’t a huge flaw on her part. She wasn’t trying to stifle me and my creativity. She wasn’t suspicious I was ‘cheating’ on her somehow. She was, plain and simply, scared.

It’s easy to get scared when you’re sick. And there are degrees. There’s being scared it’s going to hurt if you cough, and then there’s being scared you’re going to die imminently. Chronic illness runs the gamut from one to the other, sometimes several times in a single day. It just gets worse as more things go wrong and more diagnoses are added to the mix. Shawn was braver than most people, in my opinion. She toughed it out, going and doing as long as she could, ignoring discomfort and pain to do the things she wanted to do. But that willpower isn’t a cure-all. She was still sick, and getting worse. And one day, about a year after we were ‘civilized’, she couldn’t push any more. She still did what she could – midnight trips to the 24 hour Wal-Mart with the electric carts so she could get around, without having to dodge people who looked at her as ‘just a fatso who needed to loose weight’, carts that let her spend all night out, looking at stuff, talking to employees who saw her enough to recognize her and ask how she was. She stopped doing even that after she had a seizure from low blood sugar in the store and the ambulance was called. She went once after that, but was so uncomfortable feeling she was being watched in case she had a problem again, she decided it wasn’t worth it. And somewhere in there, she started getting scared. It was just a little thing at first. Not wanting to walk outside, even with a cane or walker, without me there to help her. Wanting places to sit everywhere in the house so she was never more than a step away from one. As her illnesses progressed, her fear progressed, until she wanted me with her every minute of every day. She would let me leave her side long enough to do necessary things, but no more than that. She was afraid she was going to die, and it would be very uncomfortable – that she’d fall while I was out for some reason and die before I got home of something painful and preventable, for example. She wasn’t afraid of death, per se, she was afraid of the mechanics of dying, and she didn’t want me to go through any more than was necessary if she did die. She didn’t want me to blame myself for not ‘being there’ to help. We both knew she was dying. It was just a question of how fast, and which thing would actually be fatal. When she wanted me to spend all my time with her, it was what I wanted too. When you know time is finite, even if you’re not sure how finite, being with the person you love more than anything is all that is important. You squeeze every moment you can into your experience of them so when they go, they are still there in your heart and memory. You loose their body, not them.

As I was realizing I had paused for a long, drawn out death, I also realized it is time to be the person Shawn fell in love with again. The person who is curious about all aspects of the world, who tests theories, who proposes hypotheses, who uses knowledge, insight, and experimentation to try to make the world a better place for everyone. I may not have Shawn for a sounding-board close at hand, but I am surrounded by people who have similar interests to mine, and who are willing to help me learn and to learn from me.

It’s time to break out the notes, and get going.